Jeff’s Live Nudes

Hello potential subscriber,
as an incentive for preordering, here is an except from Chapter 14 of Jeff’s sexxxcapades: Collector’s Edition 2007!  Enjoy!

January 12, 2007
It was midnight.  Most people were asleep because midnight was when people went to sleep.  There was not a single light shining in the distance, except for the scented candles that I had just lighted.  She was waiting on the bed, clad in nothing but a skimpy negligee.
“You look hot”, I said, seductively.  I walked seductively towards the bed and took off my clothes in a manner that could only be described as “seductive”.
“I’m seduced”, cooed Denise.
“I know”, I replied, knowingly.  It was past midnight.

Originally I hadn’t planned to spend my night in throes of wild passion with a woman I had never met before.  I had simply expected it to be like every other Friday, starting with a relaxing morning of weight lifting, followed by several hours of operating heavy machinery, and my favorite nighttime hobby, showing off my manly pecs to passerby’s.
I met her at the gym.  The first thing I noticed was her superbly defined body and firm, bouncy, curvaceous, round eyes.  I strutted confidently toward her.  Before I even spoke I could tell that something in me sparked her interest.  I pitched my foolproof line:
“Hey there, hot stuff.  I was just checking you out while toning my fantastic body.  I just have to say, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put you and I together in a bed so we could have sex.”
“Sure!  My name’s Denise!  Fortunately I’m the kind of woman who is perfectly eager to copulate with strangers without knowing their sexual history!”  At least, I think that was what she said.  I generally don’t listen to women after they’ve agreed to have sex.  So anyway, that’s how we got to where we are.

“Wow”, she gasped.  “It’s so long!”  She looked hesitant.  “Can I touch it?”
“Feel free, babe.  My snake is here for your pleasure.” I leaned closer so she could marvel at its girth.
“Beautiful… what’s its name?” she asked.
“Ronaldo.  I got him while vacationing in Sao Paolo last Spring.  I put the boa constrictor back in his cage.  “By the way,” I mentioned, “would you like to see my penis?”

Stay tuned for more!